


Plea For Love

by Ririko



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-16
Updated: 2011-12-16
Packaged: 2017-10-27 10:13:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/294605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ririko/pseuds/Ririko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All what he ever wanted was to be loved and the secrets from his dark past to be what they just were... Secrets...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plea For Love

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings; This fanfiction has talk about rape (male/male), violence and lot of adult material. This fic does not have a Lemon or lime and it has a character's dead. If you cannot handle any of it, please, do not read.

_I guess I should've told her earlier. Told her the truth of myself, but I couldn't. It was like my inner voice was whispering **Don't** And I guess it was a mistake. The thing I did. But… Oh, why? Why did I have to listen to my inner self? All I wanted was to be loved and those dark secrets of mine never come to alive again. I wish I could turn back time and not to do what I did. Maybe then I could still have her by my side._

 _But..._

 _Because of my mistake I lost her. She's a lost until I will fall into a deep sleep and never wake up again._

 _It hurt so much to see her lying there, peacefully as if she was sleeping although there was no sound of her breathing._

 _It hurt._

 _And it still does when I remember her and our time together although we couldn't have much. The person above didn't grand that much._

 _They say that the person can heal in time, but in my case it's not true for to me there's no time...All I can do is to remember... To remember our happy times together and the first time when we me for I remember the first time I met her pretty well I was 16 yr old..._

 _I was on a high school still. It was my first day and I was totally lost. For me being shy and quiet person as I am, I didn't dare to ask anyone directors to my first class... But then... then she appeared like an angel from out of nowhere with her long black hair and those unique bright blue eyes which shone with happiness and kindness. She asked if I was a lost and for the first time in years I spoke without stuttering like a dork. I told her that it was my first day and couldn't find my class. She gave me a bright smile which touched my soul. Then she took my hand and took me to my class room._

 _"This is English class. I'm sorry I can't give you a tour right now, but maybe tomorrow morning?" She smiled._

 _I just nodded, trying to think something to say._

 _"My name is Higurashi Kagome. What's your name?" She asked._

 _"S-Sugimi Sesshomaru," I stuttered with a bow._

 _"Nice to meet you Sesshomaru-san," Kagome bowed back, "I hope we will become a good friends!" she smiled then just as the bell rang. "I have to go now, see you at the lunch break!" She yelled as she disappeared on the crowd of high school people walking into their classes._

 _For the reason why I was shy is that I'm the middle child. I have a big brother, Ayame, who's five years older than me. Then there's my little brother, Yuki, whose three years youngster. Then of course I have a father, who's not my real father for the real one kicked my family out of the house when I was only few years old. Then I have a mother who's good at playing piano. I never had real friends in my life. After what I've been gone thru with my big brother I simply don't trust people very well. But that girl, that Kagome. On the first day when I met her I knew she was a different from the others. She was someone I could trust...And I did._

 _After the three years of our friendship I fell in love to her. When I told her that-by giving her a letter for I still was a quite shy- she told me, face to face that she loved me too and that she fell in love me on the first day she saw me. From that day on we became lovers. We did lot of things together. We even went to the same University._

 _The Tokyo U._

 _But things started to fall apart on the Tokyo U. On there I met my half-brother for the first time. His name was Inu-Yasha. He was son of my real father and a whore whom with he cheated on my mother. Inu-Yasha knew right away who I was. He also knew lot of things about me too that I knew his father had told him. Most of them were secrets which I wished no one ever knew. After two months of our meeting he started to tell rumors about me, those secrets which I hoped to stay that way... a secrets..._

 _"Sess-chan, please come out of the bathroom," Kagome begged as I sat in our dorms bathroom, silently crying. I know this sounds stupid. 19 year old boy? Crying? But believe me. I did._

 _"Sess-chan, please. Our class is about being," She told me and I heard her sigh._

 _"No. Please Kagome-chan... Please leave me alone," I whispered quietly, knowing that she heard me._

 _"Sess-chan, don't care about that inu-kuro! What he tells people are just rumors, right? Just come out! Don't show him and the others that you are affected by his stupid rumors, please!"_

 _'Rumors!' I snorted with a small sob, ' They are not rumors... They all are true...' I thought as I recalled the black, shameful secret what my half-brother had just told this morning to the people. He had told the others why I was so quiet, shy and untrusting with other people. He had told the truth. The truth that I had been raped... a many times in my childhood when I was kidnapped._

 _"Please, Kagome... Just… go... go to the class... I.. I will be on the afternoon classes... I will be fine by then... Please... I just need a time alone," I told her, although I wanted her to stay. Stay and hold me._

 _"Are you sure Sess-chan? I mean, I can skip the class and stay here with you,"_

 _"No, you need that class... math is you worst subject... Everything will be okay," I told her, which was the first lie I have ever said to her for I knew nothing was going to be alright._

 _"Oh...Okay then... if you're sure... see you later, Sess-chan, I love you!"_

 _"I love you too..." I told her and tried to hold back a sob that tried to escape through my lips as I thought about something from my past._

 _I waited until I heard the outdoor of our dorm close what after I got up from the bathroom floor and looked at myself on the mirror of the room. My eyes which were normally golden brown were all puffy and red from crying, I looked paler than usual because I had lost lots of weigh for not eating nothing much. My short black hair looked like I hadn't washed it in months. And top of all that, I had a headache. I sighed and washed the rest of my silent tears away before I opened the bathroom door._

 _I walked into the kitchen and took a bottle of aspirin and glass of water. I took two pills and washed them down with water. Then I looked at bottle in my hand as suddenly an idea came into my head._

 _I looked at the note on the bottle;_

 _**For adults and over 12 year old kids; ½ to 1 pills if needed, 1 to 3 times in a day.** _

_I wondered if overdose could kill me. I wondered if the pain I felt inside could go away within the pills._

 _The decision came quickly. I took a pen and a page from my note book and wrote. It took me an hour to finish the letter I wanted to leave behind for Kagome and my family. My eyes were then once again red from crying. I put the letter on our dorms door with tape. The letter had Kagome's name on it. After that I walked back into to the kitchen, taking the aspirin bottle and bottle of water, walking into our bedroom._

 _I sat there on our bed feeling a little bit scared. Not because it scared for me to do it but I was scared of the pain. I don't know how long I sat there but I guess a hour or hour and half because as I watched the clock on the nightstand it showed that Kagome would be back in ten minutes._

 _Without thinking anymore I opened the bottle and shoved pillers into my hand that shook. Then I smashed them into my mouth and took a long ship of water, washing them down in second. At first, I did not feel anything, only a little bit sleepy-but I thought it was because of my crying. Then, I felt a little dizzy and I thought for a moment I was going to puke. I faintly heard the door of our dorm open and Kagome calling my name in fear. I guess she read my letter._

 _The bedroom was dark, but suddenly a little light from somewhere came into the room and I heard Kagome calling my name which seemed so far away. I felt her shaking me, yelling me that I could not die and that she loved me too much to loose me. Then suddenly all became quiet. There was no sound and I became scared._

 _Where was I? Did I really die? "No!" I yelled, "I want to live!" But my voice just echoed through the darkness._

 _I don't remember much about the passing months after I tried to kill myself. Only that when I woke up I saw her, my Kagome, my love, laying there on our bed looking like she was sleeping but I knew better... She was not breathing and the aspirin bottle was empty... She had taken over the half of the pills which were still there when I took my pills. I remember thinking that she looked like an angel what after I blacked out._

 _The next time I woke up I was lying on the hospital bed. My mother and step father were both sitting on the chair of both side of me, each one holding my hand and their heads were resting on the bedside. I heard the heart monitor beep once in a while on my left. I looked around the room. The walls were painted white, but the night's dark shadows were playing on the walls, making them look like I was inside some kind of cave or black hole._

 _I sighed quietly and took out the gasmask which rested on my face. I felt so sore as I tried to sit up which made my step father woke up. At first, when I noticed him awake, I felt scared. I feared that he would've yelled at me or worse, beat at me for doing what I have done- although he had never yelled at me about anything nor had he never beated me nor my siblings before._

 _"Sesshomaru," He whispered quietly and I noticed for the first time that he had cried. His normally golden eyes were puffy and red and he had dark circles around his eyes which made me wonder how long had I been sleeping but before I could've asked him about it, he gave me a tight hug._

 _"God Sesshomaru! Why didn't you tell us sooner? If you just would've told us none of this would've happened!" He whispered, tightening his hold on me as if he was afraid for me disappearing._

 _"Dad, where's Kagome? Is she all right? How long have I been asleep?" I finally managed to ask, my voice was raspy for a lack of use as if I haven't been using it for months._

 _"Sesshomaru... You've been in coma for six months," Father told me quietly as if not to wake mom, "Your classmates Miroku and Sango found you two after Kagome had not come back to the evening classes. The door of your dorm was open so they walked in and found you and Kagome lying on your bed in the bedroom. There was empty bottle near you two..." He told me and took a deep breath before continuing, "Miroku ordered Sango to call an ambulance after he couldn't wake you up... and as for Kagome... it was too late... I'm sorry, Sesshomaru,"_

 _'No!' I thought and felt like I was going to puke,' No this is not happening! He is just joking, right?' I panicked and tried to breathe, ' No, not Kagome... Why? Why did she have to do it?' I asked as I felt the tears fall down from my eyes. I faintly heard father's voice telling me to calm down. 'Calm down? Why should I calm down when the love of my life is gone?' I wanted to yell but I couldn't as the breathing came harder and harder. Then... Everything went black..._

 _I sit on the floor of my room. It's been five years since the fateful day when my loved one killed herself. My life after that had been a one big mess for right after I got home from the hospital I tried to kill myself... a several times so I could be with my Kagome once again. But every time my mother, step father or older brother found me in time to call help.  
After three months later I was send to a mental health clinic which was order from a family psychiatrist. She told my family that it was only for my good so I would stop hurting myself. She told them that it would help me to come over with the problem of losing Kagome and the things what happened in the past._

 _But she was wrong. It only makes me feel like a trapped animal. Or a test monkey which they needed so they could pump drugs into me as if to test their effects. The more time I spend here, the more worse I feel... But still... I don't show it on my face. Everyday when the doctors come and go to check me I fake that everything is all right; giving them my biggest and brightest fake smile I can... And it had helped me a little for they think I'm ready to leave today..._

 _My family just visited me yesterday and brought me this book so I could write or... do something about it... I don't know... I have never written anything like diary before... I've always thought it to be too girly for me..._

 _But I've wrote the whole night in this tiny room that only has a plain bed, bathroom, a table to write-which I hate. There are no windows for me to see the outside world which I miss very much. I feel a little bit better right now, although there's still pain in my heart for losing my Kagome because my stupidly._

 _This small diary is almost finished. There are only few pages left which I'm going to safe so that after I'm home tonight I can write my last message to the world. I just hope that this time I will make it for today is the day when Kagome died..._

 _Well... It seems that the doctors are here, I better get ready so I can go home..._

 _\- Sugimi Sesshomaru. 24th of the September 1998_

 _The family just went to sleep. I put some crushed sleeping pills into their food while mother was not looking as I was talking with her at the kitchen earlier. I just hope that they will forgive me what I will do..._

 _I guess I should write the message of why I'm doing this, but it's so hard... I don't want them to be angry nor cry for me because after I'm gone I will be happy._

 _Here's my memory, the last one at that.  
With tears in my eyes I shall give it to you,  
Hoping that once I'm gone you will read it as I  
Whisper the last words you will ever hear from me;_

 _"I want to thank you all for trying to make my life better on these past almost 25 years. But still I feel my life is like a small rose that stands on the livingroom table all alone. Next to it has once a upon time stood another one, but it had died because of the cold. Now the lonely rose is broken. Its lovely red color has become duller and the people who once love it now don't even cast a one glace,"_

 _After you've read this last letter  
I will be sleeping  
There's no way to come back for the yesterday.  
The dead will take me into its arms,  
Taking me to my loved one, Kagome.  
Although I know there're people  
Whom will miss me I will have no regret.  
I just hope that they will try to understand,  
Although some of them do not know,  
Why I did what I did..._

 _Mother, I want you to know as you read this book that I'm glad for all what you have done. I love you very much and I'm sorry._

 _InuTaisho, after you married mom I was happy for the first time in my life, although I did not look like I was, but from that day on I thought you as father. I felt that I would trust you and that you were worth of the title 'Father'. I love you and I really hope that you and mom will live happily ever after, because I couldn't do it. I was too weak._

 _Ayame, I'm sorry big brother for not being able to come to you weddings. I hope your future bride Tohru will be the one for your. I love you Ayame, and I'm deeply sorry! I really hope that she will be your soul mate like Kagome is mine._

 _And Yuki, my little brother. Although you're my half brother I still think you as my real little brother. You're now a fine young man. I hope that you're going to finish Tokyo U and I hope that you will find a girl who will be your sunshine. I'm sorry for leaving like this and not being able to see you graduate. I hope you will understand, little brother. I love you!_

 _-Love, Sugimi Sesshomaru 24th of September 1998 Time; 11:57 pm_

He took a deep breath as he put his diary on his bed, writing on the cover the names of his family members before he took a knife from underneath his bed were he had hide it earlier that evening.  
He sat on his bed and took another deep breath before he pressed the knife on his wrist, drawing a deep wound. He which the knife to another hand and draw another deep wound. He felt as the blood from the wounds ran freely down his arms on his lap and then floor.

The wounds tingled a little, but there was no pain, because all the pain which he held inside was bigger than those on his arms.

Slowly, he went to lay down on the bed. His eyes moved to a small photo of his family that stood on his nightstand. He gave a small smile, which this time was not fake one as he thoughts in his mind that there're nothing to lose. The knife-that he still had in his hand- he closed his eyes and took a deep, dizzy breath before he slammed the knife right into his heart.

He opened his eyes as he felt the numbness claimed his body. His once been light blue eyes was covered in his blood, tainting it darker shade of blue.

In the last moment of his life he saw his own life flash by like a film. He saw the painful times, the happy times, the time when he first met her, Kagome, the first time they had made love.

Everything.

Then, there was darkness. It swallowed him in and for a moment he couldn't see nor hear anything. Then suddenly, he heard a familiar voice calling out his name. He turned around and saw her. She was dressed into the same clothes as the day when she died. That beautiful pink fluffy sweater and blue jeans. Her hair hung free and she wore a warm smile as she ran towards him.

"Oh Sess-chan! I missed you so much!" She whispered as she hugged him tightly.

"Kagome," He whispered her name over and over again," I missed you too... I tried to come earlier but I couldn't! I'm sorry you had to wait so long!" He told her, hugging her, fearing that if he ever let her go she would be gone.

"It's doesn't matter anymore, Sess-chan, at last you're here with me now. That's all what matters to me, my love," She whispered and took his hand in her small one," Come, Sess-chan. Let's go home," She smiled.

He nodded and let her lead them towards the light, which he knew was their next life, "I love you Higurashi Kagome. Now and forever,"

"I love you too Sess-chan. We are soul mates, my love and we shall be never apart again," She told him and leaned forwards to kiss him before they ran towards the bright light...


End file.
